The Final Destination (2009)
The Horror Character: Hunt, an obnoxious jock who doesn’t believe in Death’s plans to collect his missing souls.
The Bad Luck: Poor old Hunt is undone by his so-called lucky coin, as he dives into a swimming pool to retrieve it. Unluckily for him, the pool’s ventilation system is malfunctioning, and proceeds to suck his innards out through his back passage. Oof!
If They’d Been Carrying A Rabbit’s Foot: It would have gone the same way as the coin, and Hunt would still have ended up in that pool.
The Horror Character: Steven Sing, a homicide detective who partners the film’s increasingly deranged hero, David Tapp.
The Bad Luck: While almost every other one of Jigsaw’s victims has failed some form of moral test, Sing is simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Plus, he gets taken out by the most basic of Jigsaw’s traps: a simple shotgun rigged by a trip-wire. D’oh!
If They’d Been Carrying A Rabbit’s Foot: He’d have come down with a cold that morning and spent the evening in bed.
The Horror Character: Paul Krendler, a corrupt member of the Justice Department working in league with the fiendish Mason Verger.
The Bad Luck: Expecting to enjoy a relaxing holiday at his lake house, he turns up to find Hannibal Lecter waiting for him. Worse still, he ends up being spoon fed sautéed pieces of his own brain. We know he’s a bit of a shit, but that’s a little strong, no?
If They’d Been Carrying A Rabbit’s Foot: Hannibal would’ve presented him with a nice bottle of chianti, shaken him by the hand and continued on his way.
Friday The 13th (2009)
The Horror Character: Richie, one of a group of disposable moppets Jason works his way through in this 2009 remake.
The Bad Luck: Usually you can count on Jason to deliver a quick death, but poor old Richie has the misfortune to step in a bear trap before Jason can arrive on the scene. A painful wait, then, and still a machete in the face at the end of it.
If They’d Been Carrying A Rabbit’s Foot: Jason would have triggered the trap himself, allowing his victims to make a swift getaway.
The Horror Character: Doc, a booze-addled security guard who becomes embroiled in the mission to take down a herd of genetically altered dinosaurs.
The Bad Luck: It’s quite unlucky to find yourself under attack from dinosaurs in this day and age, but having survived that onslaught, Doc is brutally gunned down by the shadowy corporate types looking to keep the whole thing a secret. He can’t win.
If They’d Been Carrying A Rabbit’s Foot: He’d be appearing in Jurassic Park , in which his chances of survival would have been marginally better.
The Shining (1980)
The Horror Character: Dick Hallorann, the chef at the Overlook Hotel who shares an unspoken connection with young Danny Torrance.
The Bad Luck: Having picked up on Danny’s distress signal, Hallorann travels all the way back to the frozen Overlook from sunny Florida, only to get an axe in the chest as soon as he steps through the door. That’s what you get for trying to help, Dick!
If They’d Been Carrying A Rabbit’s Foot: He’d have lucked out and had the film directed by somebody else. He makes it in the book!
The Horror Character: Marion Crane, a former receptionist who heads off on the lam when she pinches a client’s fortune.
The Bad Luck: As soon as she leaves the city, things start going wrong for Marion. Firstly, she falls asleep in a layby, attracting the attention of a passing cop. Then she gets caught in a ferocious rainstorm and is forced to seek shelter. And finally, she pitches up at the Bates Motel. Not her day, is it?
If They’d Been Carrying A Rabbit’s Foot: The weather would have stayed fine and it would have been plain sailing to California.
Cabin Fever (2002)
The Horror Character: Jeff, a self-interested chancer who abandons his friends at the first sign of trouble.
The Bad Luck: Disloyal he might be, but Jeff’s plan to hide out in the woods was actually a sound one, as evidenced by his victory cry upon returning to the camp. “I made it,” he yells, gleefully. “I fucking made it!” Of course, it’s at this point that he’s shot down by a group of armed police officers.
If They’d Been Carrying A Rabbit’s Foot: He’d have known to avoid the camp altogether. You’ve already abandoned them, mate. What’s the point in going back now?
Saw 6 (2009)
The Horror Character: William Easton, a health insurance executive with the misfortune of having pissed Jigsaw off at one time or another.
The Bad Luck: Not only does William suffer an agonisingly painful death at the film’s close (needles through the head; hydrofluoric acid pumped into his body), he also has to make a series of terrible choices between various captives as to who should live and die. The heartache of the latter might not be as bad as the pain of the former, but it’s still not great!
If They’d Been Carrying A Rabbit’s Foot: He’d have recognised Jigsaw as a nutter when he first met him, treated him and averted the rage of his followers.
The Orphanage (2007)
The Horror Character: Laura, a former inhabitant of the titular orphanage who returns there as an adult to convert it into a home for disabled children.
The Bad Luck: With her adopted son Simón suddenly going missing, Laura understandably begins to lose the plot, fearing adduction and then ghostly intervention. In the end, the answer is revealed to be as mundane as a simple blocked door, with Laura herself having trapped the boy in the basement without realising. Talk about a devastating blow…
If They’d Been Carrying A Rabbit’s Foot: She’d have realised that the knocking sounds she was hearing weren’t made by ghosts but by her missing son!